So, I know that in my last post I had said that I wasn’t going to go so long before posting again…well, here I am THREE MONTHS LATER, before writing my next post. It doesn’t seem like it has been three months. Time kind of passes by in a blur when you have a newborn. Before I introduce her, I should probably play catch up. In my last post, I had learned that Norah was breech and that this had come as a shock, considering that I was 38.5 weeks pregnant! How does that slip by?! Anyways, I had been trying everything possible to get little miss to flip, with no luck. I was going to the chiropractor everyday, doing everything from the Spinning Babies website and even attempted an External Cephalic Version (ECV). Nothing ended up being successful and Norah was still breech and we needed a cesarean, which was really hard for me, and there are days that are still hard and I feel like something was wrong with me that made Norah not want to flip. I know that this is not the case and truly, breech positions are just another variation of normal. I do hope however, that baby #2 will be a VBAC and at home! I really want my natural, unmedicated birth!!
I am not saying that because I had a surgical birth that I had a negative experience. On the contrary, my experience was amazing. If anyone reading this is in a similar situation and a surgical birth is your only option, PLEASE request a Gentle Cesarean! (Also called Natural Cesarean, mother-Baby friendly cesarean.) Please see the video at the end of the post for an explanation. Despite having major surgery in order to meet my daughter, I can honestly say that my experience was so so good. Terrifying, but good. The worst part is probably the spinal block. It was moderately uncomfortable just really just scary to think that they are putting a needle in your spine and that you can’t feel your body from about the chest down. Once that is done, the rest isn’t too bad. You can’t see anything because of the sheet that is up and you can’t hear anything except the occasional suctioning and all the equipment. the surgery itself is actually, in most cases pretty quick. I my case, Norah was not in the best position and was actually kind of stuck. The doctor had to work pretty hard to get my little girl out. As soon as she was out, they put her on my chest, skin to skin. Normally, you don’t get to meet your baby for a while after they are born. This was the single most greatest moment of my life. Everything just melted away at that moment and all that mattered was the little girl on my chest. She was perfectly content to be there too. In fact, she wiggled her way all the way up to snuggle right at my neck and anytime anyone tried to mess with her she let them know that she was not happy about it. She knew who her mama was!! Getting to go skin to skin so soon, we were able to attempt to breastfeed, which Norah was a champ at and latched on and began nursing with in 20 minutes of being born!!! I am such a proud mama. Everything from the moment she was born to the time they took us back to the room is sort of a blur, but she did stay on my chest the whole time, minus a brief moment where her daddy held her so that they could detach me from all the machines and move me off the operating table. She wasn’t weighed, measured or anything until we got back to labor and delivery and then later that night she got her first bath. I really couldn’t have asked for a better experience and the hospital staff was amazing as well. There is so much more, but it would take a really long post to write it all down and that would take a really long time. This post is taking me two days to write as it is.
Fast forward three months…
Norah is growing like a weed! I think that she is going to be very strong willed and determined. She is ready to move and be mobile and has to have constant stimulation when she is awake. I think that we have a smarty pants on our hand. She is so observant and curious too. More than any three month old I have ever seen! She is a lot of fun but being a mommy is hard work too. I am glad that I get to stay home with her.
This past week, I started working from home. So far it is proving to be challenging. Mainly because Norah has also decided that she would fight every single nap. i can get her to fall asleep in my arms, but the moment that I put her down, it’s over. She wakes up and after much effort, I have to pick her back up to soothe her back down and get her to sleep. We will see though. I am trying to keep everything a organic and free as possible, so I don’t have my day regimented and Norah on a schedule. She gets fed on demand and is usually awake for 2-3 hours and then naps for 2-3 hours. That’s about all the scheduling that I am doing. I feel this would be easier to work with and to just get up and go when needed. I am going to give this work at home mom thing a go, but I don’t know how long it will last, but i am going to give it my best effort.
Being a mommy is very challenging and very demanding. While, I have loved being a mommy, it hasn’t been easy. I suffered from baby blues after she was born, and while she is not a difficult baby, she is not the easiest. Also, we just overcame hip dysplasia too. Poor thing had to wear a harness for about 14 hours a day because her hip joints were not completely formed. Although, I think that was more difficult for mommy and daddy than for Norah. Being a mom also teaches you a lot about yourself too. I didn’t think that I was as impatient and ungraceful as I am until Norah was here. There are days where I am so frustrated because Norah is unhappy and crying and won’t sleep and I can’t do anything to make it better or control the situation. While I thought that I was a patient person, I am realizing that I need a lot more work in that area and that I myself need as much grace as I need to give. There are days where I feel like the most awful mommy in the world and a terrible person. This struggle has been even more difficult considering that I am alone almost all the time, and haven’t had much social time with other mama’s who have been through this already. So, I have struggled alone. I am trying to spend more time in prayer and in scripture, because I have found the most peace and comfort there. I think that there are still days where I feel like I am in survival mode, but I am getting better.
Well, this post has gotten really long and I feel like I have repeated myself a lot, so I think that I am going to end it here. Please check out the link to the video on gentle cesareans below!